It doesn’t happen to every couple but it is a very common problem and it is one that is very seldom spoken about because it happens in private and it’s not generally something you share with you friends. We are talking about the quality of your sex life and how so often, once you have been together a couple for while it becomes boring and mundane, or even worse, it stops happening all together. For most people who have been in a relationship for any length of time you will recognize the pattern, he heat and the frenzy of the early days is replaced with once a week missionary action and then once a month action. Before you know it you are down to birthdays and anniversary. So what can be done to bring the excitement back? Here are a few ideas worth thinking about.
It’s not just about sex
As much as the discussion is about sex, what we are really talking about is intimacy. If you don’t have intimacy then it follows naturally that sex is less likely to happen. You need to find a way to create some sexual intimacy and that starts with a conversation. Maybe you can start by getting naked and masturbating together. Or add some spice to the mix and look to find a place that sells vibrators online. Buying one is embarrassment free and you can then enjoy the process of using it together. If she has never used one before it could be really exciting and intimate experience.
Toys mean fun
Sex shops and sex toys are becoming increasingly mainstream and popular for a reason – they are excellent aides for spicing up a flagging sex life. And you don’t have to buy then in a dingy backstreet store anymore now there are plenty of places selling sex toys online. It is easy to buy, discretely delivered and it is worth a whole lot of added excitement in the bedroom.
There is nothing wrong with a bit of role playing in the bedroom. Start with an honest conversation and take it from there. If you could have anyone who would it be? What fantasies do you have that you can look to fulfil within the safe space of your relationship. The nurse, the French maid, the fireman, the teacher… The list is as endless as it is clichéd, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work or that you should try it.
So often porn is watched in private, which is fine. But there is no reason that you shouldn’t watch it together. There is a reason that people watch porn – it’s a huge turn on naturally – so it follows logically that if you are turned on when watching it by yourself that you will probably both be aroused and ready to go if you watch it together. Studies have shown that women watch porn only slightly less than men and that those who do watch it enjoy it as much as their male counterparts. So don’t be afraid to suggest it and to use it as a launch pad for some good fun.